NPR Female Voice: “Oh, these Schweddy Balls really are cold. How long did you leave them out?” NPR Male Voice: “Well, it’s been awhile… Sometimes if I don’t get them out every once in awhile, they start to turn blue.” NPR Female Voice: “Blue Balls? Oh, honey… whenever I’m around, I can promise you will […]
Warning!!!
The Surgeon General has found that cell phones may be hazardous to your health, including phones that are held near your brain, found nearby while sleeping, ingested, lit on fire, leaped on with bare feet, in use while filling your gas tank, and typed on while crossing a busy street. If cell phones are so […]
Today's Marketing Tactics Are a Bunch of Bull
As I think about the thousands of ads there are in a single magazine, I cannot help but wonder, Why should I really care that Hulk Hogan uses speed stick deodorant, or that Preparation H is doctor recommended? These are problems that many people suffer from, but they are not necessarily the kind of thing […]
5 Ways to Attain a Miserable Relationship
Misery loves company, but nobody ever said good company couldn’t be found in misery, especially when we can learn from our mistakes. Statistics show that many couples use poor techniques in their relationships, resulting in unpleasant outcomes. While a simple relationship may not always be simple to achieve, a miserable one can be quite easy […]
What's in that Stuff!
Folks, folks… what is this new product you ask? It is neither a cream, foam, liquid, natural, synthetic, or perishable. It is not healthy, harmful, doctor recommended, or whale tested. It may be purple… it may even be great… but the most important thing you need to know, is it’s stuff. So, what more could […]
Chatting Up Antonio Sabato Jr.
As I exchanged farewell’s with Antonio Sabato Jr. on this particular Thursday, an epiphany crossed over my grey matter, like a lonely cloud on a windy afternoon. Antonio is your typical guy, grateful for a long-lasting career, proud of his two kids (Jack Antonio, 16, with actress Virginia Madsen, and Mina Bree, 8, with Kristin […]
PIP Breast Implants at a Yard Sale
I was at a local yard sale the other day, when I saw a couple of used PIP breast implants for sale. It really says something about today’s trends when half-a-handful costs $30 bucks more than the full!
Playing 20 Questions with Joanna Krupa
Featuring Joanna Krupa as the cover model on the front of a popular men’s magazine, is about as surprising as featuring pale lager at a Canadian beer fest. But I’ve got something those other magazines don’t. A once in a lifetime chance to play 20 questions with one of the most beautiful women in the […]
My Weekends Hanging Out with the D-Listers
After getting kicked out of the Victoria’s Secret with Mickey Rourke, Charlie Sheen, and Richard Simmons for impersonating men, I knew I’d better step up my game or risk being labeled a dork for the rest of my life. I threw out Jon Gosselin’s party line, Lindsay Lohan’s ‘pick me up I’m drunk’ help line, […]
Celebrity Roast: Jaime Pressly
How much do you really know about Jaime Pressly? She’s got a great body, sultry blonde hair, great bazooms, nice long legs, a firm butt… What are we forgetting? “There’s more to me than my long blonde hair and my little dancer body,” Jaime defiantly exclaims. You know, she’s absolutely right. While she may haven […]