There have been many great pranks and practical jokes that have passed through college campuses and dormitories over the past couple centuries. In fact, it could be said that some of the greatest pranks in history were not pulled off by skilled professionals, but rather college students. MIT is famous for its police car, firetruck, and grand piano, which students managed to drag to the top of the 15-story dome over the course of one night.
During the golden age of Buffoonery in the 50’s and 60’s, pranks were a way of life, and thanks to reduced investigative technology, they were also a lot easier to get away with. We’re talking about M-80 firecrackers (Tubular Solutes) in dormitory phone booths, flaming bags of dog sh**, and throwing clothed dummies into oncoming traffic. “In those days your worst fear was getting caught and dragged to your parents, because you knew they were going to beat the sh** out of you,” says John Doe, Class of ’58. “One of my favorite pranks from this era has become known as Operation Dung Drop.”
What is the most butchered and defaced statue in college history? The USC Tommy Trojan. A few years ago, well, it was more like a few decades ago, a couple students from the rival school, UCLA, decided to rent a helicopter and toss a few hundred pounds of cow manure on top of old Tommy. This brainful crew must not have included an engineering student, as they forgot to consider that the propeller blades of a helicopter actually suck small particles upwards while hovering. Well, as they were dumping the package, a good portion ended up swooping back up into the cockpit, where every accomplice received a mouth full of sh**.
—University of Southern California (USC), 1958
Currently we are immersed in the electronic age, where a booty call can come in the form of a simple text or Facebook message. With such convenience, however, comes the perfect opportunity for punking, as nobody knows with any degree of certainty who is really sitting on the opposite end of the device. This is how the modern day classic, Victoria’s Secret, was indoctrinated into the college pranking hall of fame.
Victoria’s Secret
UC Berkeley pulled a rather public psychological prank against USC’s star player at the time, Gabe Pruitt, during a crucial basketball game between the schools. Halfway through the game, Berkeley students began to chant the name “Victoria”, and recite the digits to Pruitt’s cell phone number. It didn’t take long to figure out that Pruitt had been messaging a mystery girl, looking forward to hooking up with her after he returned from the game. In his own words, “I want to CU so bad.” Turns out the girl was just a bunch of rambunctious students, and Pruitt went on to shoot 3 for 13, resulting in Berkeley’s triumph by 13 points.
—UC Berkeley, 2006
There are of course many other pranks and practical jokes that have occurred across campuses and cities across America, and the following represents one of my personal favorites (some names and dates may have been changed to protect the awesome).
The Birds
Back in the Summer of ’96, I fell victim to a super lame prank where upon waking from a drug filled 3-day outdoor music festival, I found that my friend “Gonzo” had filled my hair with the chewed gum and cigarette butts he had collected while I was unconscious. I vowed revenge.Flash forward 2 years, my friend “Nakki” and I are exiting a late movie around 2am at the multiplex in Albany NY. As we strolled through the lobby, I couldn’t help but notice that the lone custodian was piling up massive, 50 gallon drum liners filled with the left over popcorn from that day. Sometimes inspiration just smacks you in the face, and before we could even formulate the entirety of our plan, Nakki and I were walking through the parking lot to my SUV, each of us carrying 6 or 7 of these massive popcorn sacks, and drove to Gonzo’s house.
We asked Gonzo if he would mind lending us his car. Now, I don’t want to suggest that Gonzo was dumb. Come to think of it, I do want to suggest that Gonzo was dumb. Gonzo, if you’re reading this, you were dumb to lend us your car and you know it. We emptied half the bags of popcorn into the vehicle and then rolled all the windows down just enough to fit a small portion of each plastic bag through the slit in the window. When we were all done it really was a work of art.
The next morning I get a phone call from “Gump,” one of Gonzo’s house mates. I can barely understand him through his hysterical laughter, but what he is trying to explain to us is that someone filled Gonzo’s car with popcorn and he’s currently outside trying to clean up the mess but is being attacked by a horde of hungry pigeons and neighborhood children! Amazing. If we had the technology then, this surely would have made us Youtube superstars.
—My name is Gherkin and I approve the retelling of this tale, University at Albany (SUNY), ’96